Eternity Touch (Part 11)

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I railed and cursed and berated and even begged him but he would not listen. And when she came back, there was something in her eyes. Something that went beyond fear. A decision being made every moment of her day. A decision by which she would decide how to spend her eternity. It was strangely disquieting. Mortals often believe they make that decision. Religious fervour, prayer, repentance - all ways in which mortals fool themselves into thinking that the choice is theirs. But it is not. Except in this one case - and it was nearly more than she could take. One night I found her sitting quietly with tears running down her cheeks. She looked up at me as I walked in.

"How is it possible to choose?" she asked softly. "You, or all the rest of the world…"

I had no answer for her. I could not. I knew what I wanted her to choose. I knew, though I hated to admit it, that I was entrapping her at every opportunity. I had always known what a terrible thing free will could be, but had never witnessed it first hand like this. I knew I wished for her to stay.

And I knew she wouldn’t.

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I thought it would be an easy choice. When I was first told, my heart leapt. I could stay with him - next time there would be none of this six month long desire, this desperate need to be touched by him. But then I began to think about it carefully. Began to consider what I was missing. To live my eternity, never growing old, never changing, forever in this illusory world he had created. Never to see my mother. Or the sun. Ever again.

Forever is a terrifying word when you are suddenly faced with it and all its implications.

But to go back, and have all that. And be faced with that longing for him. All the time. Forever.

I couldn't do it. It was Hell on the one hand, and hell on the other. A worse curse than the first one.

Hades tried to make it easier. He would give me space for days, but then he would arrive, alive with passion and an angry, all-consuming hunger, and I was trapped all over again. And we would sit, naked, in each other’s arms, and he would breathe raggedly into my ear. And I would shake my head, and say, "to give this up… but Hades, all that world…" and fall silent again at the impossibility of the decision before me.

But eventually, when the day came, I knew what I had decided. The allure of forever was too strong.

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