In honour of my first sponsor (Thank you! I hope you like it, since you inspired it!):
Pond.
I remember coolness,
the comfort of wet.
Days spent sitting leaf-bound,
musing,
the taste of flies.
The taste of flies being delicious.
Calm. Long sun-drenched afternoons.
Swimming, easy and languid.
Simplicity. This is why I am.
To swim.
To sing.
To leap, spreadeagled against the sky.
To rejoice in rainfall.
Then, a flash of gold, and a favour.
And the awareness of desire.
The encroachment of awareness.
The pang of encroachment.
I don't tell him,
for the sound of the breaking iron,
for the long years of waiting,
for the faithfulness.
I don't tell her,
for the smiling kisses,
for the shining eyes,
for the loving touch.
How I miss the calm,
the cool,
the wet.
Thursday, 27 March 2008
Metapost
Hi there faithful readers. ;)
As you know, if you read the very first post, this blog is something of an experiment in cyber-funded creativity. Me trying to see if I can make some kind of money out of putting my stories out in the world. If you are reading this, you get to be my experimental audience, on whom I try to see if I can make this work.
Several of you have helped enormously already by getting the word out. You've linked to me on your own blogs. I believe some of you have been plugging me on facebook. And I thank you for spreading the word, because without readers this will never work. Those of you who came here via one of those people, yay! Thanks for coming! Please feel very free to tell your friends. *grin*
However, Belgatherial's Hearth has been in existence for over two weeks now, and I have yet to make a cent on donations. I have had a fair number of "wow, this is awesome"s (even from complete strangers! (Hi, thanks for popping round. Please keep coming back - oh, and tell all your friends. ;P)), which suggest that the writing is pretty decent, and I am getting more hits than I thought I would, so people are reading, they just aren't donating. So, I have been toying with a number of ideas for trying to encourage the donation thing to happen.
So, if you were on the verge of donating, which of these things would push you over to pressing the button? This is a purely hypothetical, and there are no obligations at all. I'm just looking for a little feedback. :)
Some of the things I have thought of doing:
* Not starting the second story until I get a certain amount in donations. Yay! Bribery. Of course the evil side effect is no-one ever donates and the whole project slides into disuse.... Which would suck, since the next story is ready and waiting to go. Of course, I do have various odds and ends I could throw your way until we hit the target, and I would make it a fairly managable target. How about NZ$50? What if I posted something tid-bitty, like a poem, or flash fic, each time anyone donates anything, even $1, and once we hit $50, I'll start on Pandora?
* Offering some kind of perk for donors. I'm not entirely sure what though - any suggestions? One of the things I thought of is a bonus epilogue. I'd write an epilogue to Eternity Touch which only donors get.
* Offering some kind of extra. Like printing and binding each story all pretty like at the end and sending it by mail to those who want it. Problem is, this would be pretty expensive to do, since I'd inevitably be sending internationally, and would have to charge accordingly. I am fairly crafty though, so I could make it look really good. If there's any interest I'll do some actual research into how much it would cost to do and send. Would any of you be interested in something like that, and if so, how much would you be willing to pay for it?
* Other forms of donation? (I'm really unsure this would work at all, but it crossed my mind, so I'll put it here). I have a wishlist for the books I need and want to write my thesis. Allowing people to donate by sending a book instead? The thing about this is it would probably be more expensive than if they just donated, and they clearly aren't doing that, so I dunno.
* Allowing donors to pick the next myth with which I deal. If you donate, you are able to tell me what to write about. Pick a myth for the next story I do (On a first come, first served basis). Multiple sponsors for the same myth would get equal bragging rights. ;)
* Creating a Donors' Link section on the sidebar, where I would acknowledge your contribution, and link to whatever website you choose. (Your own, or something you wish to support)
* For those of you on LJ, 'Song suggested it may help to be on LJ. In other words, as of the next story, I would double post to there as well, so you wouldn't have to follow a link, the story would just pop up on your friendslist.
So. Which of these do you, as the readers, think would be most effective?
As you know, if you read the very first post, this blog is something of an experiment in cyber-funded creativity. Me trying to see if I can make some kind of money out of putting my stories out in the world. If you are reading this, you get to be my experimental audience, on whom I try to see if I can make this work.
Several of you have helped enormously already by getting the word out. You've linked to me on your own blogs. I believe some of you have been plugging me on facebook. And I thank you for spreading the word, because without readers this will never work. Those of you who came here via one of those people, yay! Thanks for coming! Please feel very free to tell your friends. *grin*
However, Belgatherial's Hearth has been in existence for over two weeks now, and I have yet to make a cent on donations. I have had a fair number of "wow, this is awesome"s (even from complete strangers! (Hi, thanks for popping round. Please keep coming back - oh, and tell all your friends. ;P)), which suggest that the writing is pretty decent, and I am getting more hits than I thought I would, so people are reading, they just aren't donating. So, I have been toying with a number of ideas for trying to encourage the donation thing to happen.
So, if you were on the verge of donating, which of these things would push you over to pressing the button? This is a purely hypothetical, and there are no obligations at all. I'm just looking for a little feedback. :)
Some of the things I have thought of doing:
* Not starting the second story until I get a certain amount in donations. Yay! Bribery. Of course the evil side effect is no-one ever donates and the whole project slides into disuse.... Which would suck, since the next story is ready and waiting to go. Of course, I do have various odds and ends I could throw your way until we hit the target, and I would make it a fairly managable target. How about NZ$50? What if I posted something tid-bitty, like a poem, or flash fic, each time anyone donates anything, even $1, and once we hit $50, I'll start on Pandora?
* Offering some kind of perk for donors. I'm not entirely sure what though - any suggestions? One of the things I thought of is a bonus epilogue. I'd write an epilogue to Eternity Touch which only donors get.
* Offering some kind of extra. Like printing and binding each story all pretty like at the end and sending it by mail to those who want it. Problem is, this would be pretty expensive to do, since I'd inevitably be sending internationally, and would have to charge accordingly. I am fairly crafty though, so I could make it look really good. If there's any interest I'll do some actual research into how much it would cost to do and send. Would any of you be interested in something like that, and if so, how much would you be willing to pay for it?
* Other forms of donation? (I'm really unsure this would work at all, but it crossed my mind, so I'll put it here). I have a wishlist for the books I need and want to write my thesis. Allowing people to donate by sending a book instead? The thing about this is it would probably be more expensive than if they just donated, and they clearly aren't doing that, so I dunno.
* Allowing donors to pick the next myth with which I deal. If you donate, you are able to tell me what to write about. Pick a myth for the next story I do (On a first come, first served basis). Multiple sponsors for the same myth would get equal bragging rights. ;)
* Creating a Donors' Link section on the sidebar, where I would acknowledge your contribution, and link to whatever website you choose. (Your own, or something you wish to support)
* For those of you on LJ, 'Song suggested it may help to be on LJ. In other words, as of the next story, I would double post to there as well, so you wouldn't have to follow a link, the story would just pop up on your friendslist.
So. Which of these do you, as the readers, think would be most effective?
Wednesday, 26 March 2008
Eternity Touch (Part 12)
===
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
I was terrified. The four of us in a bare room. A table and four chairs. She stood, shaky, but calm, as one who has made a decision after much time. I had no idea what she would say. I had spent the last six months playing it out in my mind, trying to guess her decision. I would think that she would pick the world, but then I would think of the hold Hades had over her, and would immediately second guess myself, and in the end be forced to admit that I quite simply could not predict my daughter.
"Persephone." Zeus used that name as if it were a title.
She looked him in the eyes, direct, unflinching.
"Zeus."
"You have decided." It was not a question. It was a command.
"I have."
He inclined his head for her to continue.
She glanced across at Hades. He was not looking at her, but was fiercely examining his hands stretched out on the table. She looked at me. I tried to smile, but was certain that it was a weak attempt. Then she looked at Zeus again.
"You have cursed me worse than I was before." Her tone was factual, with no accusation. "I must choose a life without the world, or one without…" Her eyes flashed across to Hades, who still would not look at her. She could not finish the sentence. She swallowed, and continued. "I have no choice but to accept it. And I have decided. I choose the world."
I didn’t recognize the small sound of joy as coming from myself. I closed my eyes in relief. Looked up at my daughter. She was looking at Hades. His hands were clenched now. A small drop of blood appeared on the table below one of them. I barely heard Zeus' response.
"So be it."
#
I see him from time to time. But it is not enough. It is always like that first time. Suddenly there as I walk down a street. Jeans and a t-shirt. But he never touches me. I got used to the longing. I have even become able to control it. But after his first visit it came back so strongly, that I told him he wasn't to touch me any more. I long for his touch, when I am with him. I guess it is like a drug. I can't give in to the desire - the price is too high. And in the absence of the physical contact, we have become friends. It is strange to think of, but I believe he really does miss me.
I catch my mother watching me from time to time. As if she is checking to make sure I am not aging. She knows when I have seen Hades. And although she says nothing, I think she resents it. We are not as close as we once were.
I am getting used to it. The span of time ahead of me scares me when I allow myself to think of it. I still can't comprehend the true meaning of eternity. No time limits. No means of escape. But most of the time I don’t think of it. Just keep moving.
Forever is a fearful word. But I imagine I will get used to it. It will take time. But I have plenty of that.
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
I was terrified. The four of us in a bare room. A table and four chairs. She stood, shaky, but calm, as one who has made a decision after much time. I had no idea what she would say. I had spent the last six months playing it out in my mind, trying to guess her decision. I would think that she would pick the world, but then I would think of the hold Hades had over her, and would immediately second guess myself, and in the end be forced to admit that I quite simply could not predict my daughter.
"Persephone." Zeus used that name as if it were a title.
She looked him in the eyes, direct, unflinching.
"Zeus."
"You have decided." It was not a question. It was a command.
"I have."
He inclined his head for her to continue.
She glanced across at Hades. He was not looking at her, but was fiercely examining his hands stretched out on the table. She looked at me. I tried to smile, but was certain that it was a weak attempt. Then she looked at Zeus again.
"You have cursed me worse than I was before." Her tone was factual, with no accusation. "I must choose a life without the world, or one without…" Her eyes flashed across to Hades, who still would not look at her. She could not finish the sentence. She swallowed, and continued. "I have no choice but to accept it. And I have decided. I choose the world."
I didn’t recognize the small sound of joy as coming from myself. I closed my eyes in relief. Looked up at my daughter. She was looking at Hades. His hands were clenched now. A small drop of blood appeared on the table below one of them. I barely heard Zeus' response.
"So be it."
#
I see him from time to time. But it is not enough. It is always like that first time. Suddenly there as I walk down a street. Jeans and a t-shirt. But he never touches me. I got used to the longing. I have even become able to control it. But after his first visit it came back so strongly, that I told him he wasn't to touch me any more. I long for his touch, when I am with him. I guess it is like a drug. I can't give in to the desire - the price is too high. And in the absence of the physical contact, we have become friends. It is strange to think of, but I believe he really does miss me.
I catch my mother watching me from time to time. As if she is checking to make sure I am not aging. She knows when I have seen Hades. And although she says nothing, I think she resents it. We are not as close as we once were.
I am getting used to it. The span of time ahead of me scares me when I allow myself to think of it. I still can't comprehend the true meaning of eternity. No time limits. No means of escape. But most of the time I don’t think of it. Just keep moving.
Forever is a fearful word. But I imagine I will get used to it. It will take time. But I have plenty of that.
---END---
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
Eternity Touch (Part 11)
===
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
I railed and cursed and berated and even begged him but he would not listen. And when she came back, there was something in her eyes. Something that went beyond fear. A decision being made every moment of her day. A decision by which she would decide how to spend her eternity. It was strangely disquieting. Mortals often believe they make that decision. Religious fervour, prayer, repentance - all ways in which mortals fool themselves into thinking that the choice is theirs. But it is not. Except in this one case - and it was nearly more than she could take. One night I found her sitting quietly with tears running down her cheeks. She looked up at me as I walked in.
"How is it possible to choose?" she asked softly. "You, or all the rest of the world…"
I had no answer for her. I could not. I knew what I wanted her to choose. I knew, though I hated to admit it, that I was entrapping her at every opportunity. I had always known what a terrible thing free will could be, but had never witnessed it first hand like this. I knew I wished for her to stay.
And I knew she wouldn’t.
#
I thought it would be an easy choice. When I was first told, my heart leapt. I could stay with him - next time there would be none of this six month long desire, this desperate need to be touched by him. But then I began to think about it carefully. Began to consider what I was missing. To live my eternity, never growing old, never changing, forever in this illusory world he had created. Never to see my mother. Or the sun. Ever again.
Forever is a terrifying word when you are suddenly faced with it and all its implications.
But to go back, and have all that. And be faced with that longing for him. All the time. Forever.
I couldn't do it. It was Hell on the one hand, and hell on the other. A worse curse than the first one.
Hades tried to make it easier. He would give me space for days, but then he would arrive, alive with passion and an angry, all-consuming hunger, and I was trapped all over again. And we would sit, naked, in each other’s arms, and he would breathe raggedly into my ear. And I would shake my head, and say, "to give this up… but Hades, all that world…" and fall silent again at the impossibility of the decision before me.
But eventually, when the day came, I knew what I had decided. The allure of forever was too strong.
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
I railed and cursed and berated and even begged him but he would not listen. And when she came back, there was something in her eyes. Something that went beyond fear. A decision being made every moment of her day. A decision by which she would decide how to spend her eternity. It was strangely disquieting. Mortals often believe they make that decision. Religious fervour, prayer, repentance - all ways in which mortals fool themselves into thinking that the choice is theirs. But it is not. Except in this one case - and it was nearly more than she could take. One night I found her sitting quietly with tears running down her cheeks. She looked up at me as I walked in.
"How is it possible to choose?" she asked softly. "You, or all the rest of the world…"
I had no answer for her. I could not. I knew what I wanted her to choose. I knew, though I hated to admit it, that I was entrapping her at every opportunity. I had always known what a terrible thing free will could be, but had never witnessed it first hand like this. I knew I wished for her to stay.
And I knew she wouldn’t.
#
I thought it would be an easy choice. When I was first told, my heart leapt. I could stay with him - next time there would be none of this six month long desire, this desperate need to be touched by him. But then I began to think about it carefully. Began to consider what I was missing. To live my eternity, never growing old, never changing, forever in this illusory world he had created. Never to see my mother. Or the sun. Ever again.
Forever is a terrifying word when you are suddenly faced with it and all its implications.
But to go back, and have all that. And be faced with that longing for him. All the time. Forever.
I couldn't do it. It was Hell on the one hand, and hell on the other. A worse curse than the first one.
Hades tried to make it easier. He would give me space for days, but then he would arrive, alive with passion and an angry, all-consuming hunger, and I was trapped all over again. And we would sit, naked, in each other’s arms, and he would breathe raggedly into my ear. And I would shake my head, and say, "to give this up… but Hades, all that world…" and fall silent again at the impossibility of the decision before me.
But eventually, when the day came, I knew what I had decided. The allure of forever was too strong.
Monday, 24 March 2008
Eternity Touch (Part 10)
===
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
It was strange to see him again, after all those centuries. I think that what happened between us might have been love, had we been mortals. He was silent for a long moment when I arrived.
"Hello Zeus."
He nodded a greeting. "Demeter."
"It has been a long time."
"Indeed."
There was a long silence. Then he spoke, his voice carefully even.
"You know why you are here."
"I know Hades has made... a request."
"He wishes your daughter to be made immortal."
I nodded, unable to speak. I hated that once again the fate of my daughter lay in those bitter angry hands. Zeus shook his head gently at me.
"This has gone on for a long time."
"Yes, Zeus." I tried to keep the anger out of my voice.
"Perhaps too long now."
"Yes." Of course too long, I thought. It was too long already after the first time.
"You understand that I was much angered."
This time I could not even muster a response.
He sighed. "But nevertheless, perhaps I was a little hasty."
Perhaps indeed! And it took him so many centuries to arrive at this conclusion, so much pain. So many times...
"So I will grant Hades' request."
I stiffened. "What does she think of this?"
"She thinks she has no say in the matter. And to be fair, your daughter is a bright girl. She doesn't really."
I had to ask. "Why grant his request Zeus? Why now, after all this time?''
"Because I like her, Demeter. Because I think this has gone on long enough." He paused, and I was suddenly scared. "Because Hades must learn that there is a limit to what he can take for himself."
I knew there was a catch. Suddenly, with the certainty of a mother, and I had to ask, though I dreaded the answer.
"What is the condition, Zeus?"
He smiled, a cold hard smile. "You know me well, still, Demeter. Yes, there is a condition. She will be immortal. But the curse is lifted. She must choose her place. The world, or the Underworld. Not both. She may have the next six months there to decide, and then I will have an answer from her."
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
It was strange to see him again, after all those centuries. I think that what happened between us might have been love, had we been mortals. He was silent for a long moment when I arrived.
"Hello Zeus."
He nodded a greeting. "Demeter."
"It has been a long time."
"Indeed."
There was a long silence. Then he spoke, his voice carefully even.
"You know why you are here."
"I know Hades has made... a request."
"He wishes your daughter to be made immortal."
I nodded, unable to speak. I hated that once again the fate of my daughter lay in those bitter angry hands. Zeus shook his head gently at me.
"This has gone on for a long time."
"Yes, Zeus." I tried to keep the anger out of my voice.
"Perhaps too long now."
"Yes." Of course too long, I thought. It was too long already after the first time.
"You understand that I was much angered."
This time I could not even muster a response.
He sighed. "But nevertheless, perhaps I was a little hasty."
Perhaps indeed! And it took him so many centuries to arrive at this conclusion, so much pain. So many times...
"So I will grant Hades' request."
I stiffened. "What does she think of this?"
"She thinks she has no say in the matter. And to be fair, your daughter is a bright girl. She doesn't really."
I had to ask. "Why grant his request Zeus? Why now, after all this time?''
"Because I like her, Demeter. Because I think this has gone on long enough." He paused, and I was suddenly scared. "Because Hades must learn that there is a limit to what he can take for himself."
I knew there was a catch. Suddenly, with the certainty of a mother, and I had to ask, though I dreaded the answer.
"What is the condition, Zeus?"
He smiled, a cold hard smile. "You know me well, still, Demeter. Yes, there is a condition. She will be immortal. But the curse is lifted. She must choose her place. The world, or the Underworld. Not both. She may have the next six months there to decide, and then I will have an answer from her."
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