===
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
It's uncanny how fast a person can get used to things. It wasn't even a year since I had been taken by Hades, yet when my mother said that Zeus wanted to meet me, the idea wasn't as strange as it could have been. Of course, that may have had something to do with how distant everything seemed except the desire to see Hades again. But still, you really oughtn't to be so nonchalant about meeting the king of the gods. Especially when you know what an easily angered god he is.
The thing about the gods which still amazes me is how ordinary they look when you meet them for the first time. Of course, it's not real. I mean, what you see isn't really what they are, but still. They can take any form they like, but they never seem to make themselves particularly striking. (Except for Apollo, but he's just vain.) Zeus was no exception. He just looked like a sweet, harmless, grandfatherly type. It's deceptive. You find yourself thinking, what a sweet old man. Meanwhile he has so much power he doesn't really know what to do with it.
I gather he liked me. We had tea (if you can believe that!), and chatted like normal people. He wanted to know how I felt about the situation. I had to refrain from telling him how desperately I wished to be back with Hades. He wanted to know if Hades had been kind to me. And how my mother was doing. It was strangely surreal - like you imagine visitation rights of fathers to be. Although Zeus wasn't my father. That, clearly, was part of the problem. And at the end he asked me what I thought he should do.
"You do know that Hades has asked me to make you immortal?"
He asked in the same tone of voice as he would have asked if I took sugar with my tea. My head spun with the possibilities of immortality.
"Well, yes…" My mother had told me this much, but I was uncertain what I was meant to say about it.
"What do you think of that?"
"Well, to be frank…." I trailed off for a moment. "I don't really know. I mean, that's quite a serious proposition."
He chuckled.
"You could say that." He looked at me keenly for a moment. "Do you love him?"
I faltered. Was this desperate desire love?
"Well, I'm not sure. I enjoy his… company, certainly. But love him? I'm not sure that it's possible for a mortal to love the king of the Underworld."
He laughed this time. I hadn't meant it to be funny, but gods are strange that way. I shook my head in bewilderment.
"To be honest, I don't think I can answer that. And I don't think I can tell you if I want to be immortal. And, to be really frank, I don't think what I say is going to make the slightest difference to what you decide."
He laughed a third time.
"I like you, child." He stood up, suddenly all business. "I will talk to your mother about it."
And that was all. Dismissed, as at the end of an interview. In retrospect, I suppose that was what it was, although I had no idea what I was being interviewed for. Had I known, perhaps I would have gone about it differently. Or perhaps not. It's hard to tell.
Thursday, 20 March 2008
Wednesday, 19 March 2008
Eternity Touch (Part 8)
===
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
I had hoped she would survive it better. She was the strongest of my daughters - the most hot-headed and self-assured. I had often, watching her as a child, thought that maybe she would come back to me still herself. Or at least more like herself than the others had. And at first it looked like she had. She smiled warmly and hugged me. The first couple of days we were as close as we had ever been. We spent every moment together, and I confess I allowed myself to think that maybe this time it wouldn't be so bad. But barely a week had passed before she started acting like the others had. Hours spent staring out the window, or going for walks by herself. The crying behind her closed door. And that blank look in her eyes that made me know she wasn't hearing anything I said. Once again, Hades had taken my daughter from me, even in the time that she was with me. What I didn't know, was that this time, she had made an impact on the all-powerful god of the Underworld in return.
#
It was awful. I can't describe it. That longing to be with him, to have him touch me. It was worse than anything I had ever experienced before. I imagine it is what it's like to be deprived of a drug you are dependant on. It wasn't just missing him. It was more than that - it was like a physical need, like hunger, or thirst, or suffocation. Even now, it happens sometimes. It wasn't an emotional need; it was more primal than that - more demanding.
I could tell how it hurt my mother. I could see it. And yet, I couldn't help it. It was as if I could see her hurt only through a veil - it wasn't quite real to me. And it just got worse. As the weeks passed, it became overriding. Almost unbearable - except for the small light of the knowledge that I would be back with him soon. It got to a point where that was all I was aware of - when I would be back with him. During those six months I came to know how like a drug he was - an addiction I couldn’t break. There are no support groups for people addicted to the touch of a god.
#
I missed her. It was crazy. I had never missed them before. It wasn't that I loved her. I couldn't have - gods don't really fall in love, despite what the stories may tell you. We can't afford it. I just... missed having her there. And that was what started the problem. I could have just left it alone - I knew Zeus regretted the curse. And instead of leaving it well alone and taking what I already had, I got greedy, and gave him the excuse he needed.
I went to him and asked him to make her immortal. I told him that this one was different - she was worthy of being one of us, and I thought that the curse had gone on long enough. He was intrigued. I suppose it was strange - Hades, who never asks favours on behalf of others, Hades, who takes what he wants without help from anyone else, actually asking Zeus for a favour. And on someone else's behalf too! Little wonder that he thought for so long about it. Little wonder that he decided he wanted to meet her. Demeter was very angry - she couldn't forgive me for bringing one of her daughters in contact with Zeus again - especially not after what had happened the last time. What she didn't know was that I was as unhappy about it as her.
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
I had hoped she would survive it better. She was the strongest of my daughters - the most hot-headed and self-assured. I had often, watching her as a child, thought that maybe she would come back to me still herself. Or at least more like herself than the others had. And at first it looked like she had. She smiled warmly and hugged me. The first couple of days we were as close as we had ever been. We spent every moment together, and I confess I allowed myself to think that maybe this time it wouldn't be so bad. But barely a week had passed before she started acting like the others had. Hours spent staring out the window, or going for walks by herself. The crying behind her closed door. And that blank look in her eyes that made me know she wasn't hearing anything I said. Once again, Hades had taken my daughter from me, even in the time that she was with me. What I didn't know, was that this time, she had made an impact on the all-powerful god of the Underworld in return.
#
It was awful. I can't describe it. That longing to be with him, to have him touch me. It was worse than anything I had ever experienced before. I imagine it is what it's like to be deprived of a drug you are dependant on. It wasn't just missing him. It was more than that - it was like a physical need, like hunger, or thirst, or suffocation. Even now, it happens sometimes. It wasn't an emotional need; it was more primal than that - more demanding.
I could tell how it hurt my mother. I could see it. And yet, I couldn't help it. It was as if I could see her hurt only through a veil - it wasn't quite real to me. And it just got worse. As the weeks passed, it became overriding. Almost unbearable - except for the small light of the knowledge that I would be back with him soon. It got to a point where that was all I was aware of - when I would be back with him. During those six months I came to know how like a drug he was - an addiction I couldn’t break. There are no support groups for people addicted to the touch of a god.
#
I missed her. It was crazy. I had never missed them before. It wasn't that I loved her. I couldn't have - gods don't really fall in love, despite what the stories may tell you. We can't afford it. I just... missed having her there. And that was what started the problem. I could have just left it alone - I knew Zeus regretted the curse. And instead of leaving it well alone and taking what I already had, I got greedy, and gave him the excuse he needed.
I went to him and asked him to make her immortal. I told him that this one was different - she was worthy of being one of us, and I thought that the curse had gone on long enough. He was intrigued. I suppose it was strange - Hades, who never asks favours on behalf of others, Hades, who takes what he wants without help from anyone else, actually asking Zeus for a favour. And on someone else's behalf too! Little wonder that he thought for so long about it. Little wonder that he decided he wanted to meet her. Demeter was very angry - she couldn't forgive me for bringing one of her daughters in contact with Zeus again - especially not after what had happened the last time. What she didn't know was that I was as unhappy about it as her.
Tuesday, 18 March 2008
Eternity Touch (Part 7)
===
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
It was strange how fast I got used to it there. Except for that first time, he never showed me Hell proper. I was kept in luxury - captivity, yes, but it was a pleasant prison. And I gathered that the story was true enough that I would be home with my mother in six months. At first the time passed slowly. But Hades was an attentive husband, and gradually I got used to him being my only company. In fact, I became strangely addicted to him. And I don't just mean the sex, although that was undoubtedly a vast part of the addiction. There was something else - something about him. Something immensely magnetic.
I suppose you could think that because he is a god it is not surprising that he was magnetic. But it wasn't that. I don't think he knew he was doing it at all. He wanted me to be comfortable and content, certainly. But I don't think it ever occurred to him to worry about whether I was happy there. And I certainly don't think it was anything like love. Despite what the legends may say, there is far too much unfamiliar territory between a mortal and a god for any kind of real intimacy.
I seemed to bewilder him, and that too surprised me. I thought that there would be nothing I could do that he wouldn't expect. I asked him about it once, and he answered that it was because of "that blasted free will", and refused to talk about it further.
The other thing that was weird about him was that he was very polite. That sounds silly. But I can't think of another word. I mean, let's face it, he could have magicked me into being perfectly content to sit in a cell and be his sex-toy if that were what he wanted. But he was impressively diffident, and gentle, and remarkably... British, I suppose would be the best description. Like Hugh Grant.
Unless he was angry. Then he was terrifying. As we neared the end of the first six months, he got more and more short tempered. I tried not to say anything to anger him. Not that he ever hurt me. But he didn’t need to - I knew he could snap me like a twig if he chose, and that was terrifying enough.
I remember once, he was pacing, up and down, up and down. Eventually, it got too much.
"Relax, Hades. Just sit for a moment."
He simply exploded. He flung the table across the room (his strength was terrifying in itself). Wordless books burst against the walls.
"How dare you order me!" he roared. "Do you think you are anything more than a mortal? Are you so arrogant as to command the gods?"
And he raged. It went on for what felt like hours. Eventually he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him, bringing down an entire shelf of books with the impact. Hours later, when I had restored order to the room, he returned, proud and beautiful. The closest he ever came to an apology was the intense tenderness with which he would touch me after such outbursts. I gather he could never quite bring himself to apologize to a mortal, not even one he had taken as a lover.
And then the six months were over. I should have been thrilled. I mean I was happy. But not as happy as I had expected to be. I had no idea, however, what the next six months would be like.
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
It was strange how fast I got used to it there. Except for that first time, he never showed me Hell proper. I was kept in luxury - captivity, yes, but it was a pleasant prison. And I gathered that the story was true enough that I would be home with my mother in six months. At first the time passed slowly. But Hades was an attentive husband, and gradually I got used to him being my only company. In fact, I became strangely addicted to him. And I don't just mean the sex, although that was undoubtedly a vast part of the addiction. There was something else - something about him. Something immensely magnetic.
I suppose you could think that because he is a god it is not surprising that he was magnetic. But it wasn't that. I don't think he knew he was doing it at all. He wanted me to be comfortable and content, certainly. But I don't think it ever occurred to him to worry about whether I was happy there. And I certainly don't think it was anything like love. Despite what the legends may say, there is far too much unfamiliar territory between a mortal and a god for any kind of real intimacy.
I seemed to bewilder him, and that too surprised me. I thought that there would be nothing I could do that he wouldn't expect. I asked him about it once, and he answered that it was because of "that blasted free will", and refused to talk about it further.
The other thing that was weird about him was that he was very polite. That sounds silly. But I can't think of another word. I mean, let's face it, he could have magicked me into being perfectly content to sit in a cell and be his sex-toy if that were what he wanted. But he was impressively diffident, and gentle, and remarkably... British, I suppose would be the best description. Like Hugh Grant.
Unless he was angry. Then he was terrifying. As we neared the end of the first six months, he got more and more short tempered. I tried not to say anything to anger him. Not that he ever hurt me. But he didn’t need to - I knew he could snap me like a twig if he chose, and that was terrifying enough.
I remember once, he was pacing, up and down, up and down. Eventually, it got too much.
"Relax, Hades. Just sit for a moment."
He simply exploded. He flung the table across the room (his strength was terrifying in itself). Wordless books burst against the walls.
"How dare you order me!" he roared. "Do you think you are anything more than a mortal? Are you so arrogant as to command the gods?"
And he raged. It went on for what felt like hours. Eventually he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him, bringing down an entire shelf of books with the impact. Hours later, when I had restored order to the room, he returned, proud and beautiful. The closest he ever came to an apology was the intense tenderness with which he would touch me after such outbursts. I gather he could never quite bring himself to apologize to a mortal, not even one he had taken as a lover.
And then the six months were over. I should have been thrilled. I mean I was happy. But not as happy as I had expected to be. I had no idea, however, what the next six months would be like.
Monday, 17 March 2008
Eternity Touch (Part 6)
===
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
You see, only part of the myth is true. Yes, I am the goddess of spring. Yes, I do control the seasons. But her father wasn't Zeus. In fact, her father wasn't a god at all. Back then, I told Zeus she was his so that he'd get her back for me - that first time. He was so angry when he found out that I had lied. He couldn't understand the absolute fear and despair of a mother knowing her beautiful daughter is stuck in the Underworld. He couldn't understand the madness - I would have done anything to get her back, even lie to the king of the gods. And it worked. Well, at first. It wasn't an ideal arrangement, having to give her up for half of the year. And Hades is a wily old god. I knew beyond doubt, although she never actually said as much to me, that she missed him during the months she spent with me.
It was Hades who first noticed that she was aging. He came to me and asked me about it. The daughter of two gods would be immortal - aging simply wouldn't happen. I suppose I knew it would come out. I knew she would age - admittedly slower than most, due to being my daughter, but just as irrevocably and unstoppably as any other mortal. When Zeus found out, he was furious. I think he had grown to love her, in his own way, and to be told that not only was she not his, but her father had been a mere mortal was more than he could stand. Oh, how he raged at me. It still sends shivers through me to think of it.
Thus, the curse.
The story would play itself out over and over again for all time. The first Persephone, as is the way with mortals, eventually grew old and died. Hades was strangely moved by her death - far more so than I had expected. And soon after her death, I found myself pregnant. And it all started all over again. Zeus claimed it was to maintain the seasons, but I am sure it was more out of anger. I am also sure he could have revoked it and saved us all a lot of pain, but that would have proved that it was simply an act of malice, and Zeus never admits a mistake.
The strangest thing is that I have tried to avoid the pregnancy. But each time, as my daughter gets old and nears death, one way or another, I find myself pregnant again. And always by a mortal father. And losing her always hurts, although I know from the day she is born that it is coming, and I know that I will get her back for half of each year. It still hurts every time. Maybe it’s because she is never the same that first time she comes back.
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
You see, only part of the myth is true. Yes, I am the goddess of spring. Yes, I do control the seasons. But her father wasn't Zeus. In fact, her father wasn't a god at all. Back then, I told Zeus she was his so that he'd get her back for me - that first time. He was so angry when he found out that I had lied. He couldn't understand the absolute fear and despair of a mother knowing her beautiful daughter is stuck in the Underworld. He couldn't understand the madness - I would have done anything to get her back, even lie to the king of the gods. And it worked. Well, at first. It wasn't an ideal arrangement, having to give her up for half of the year. And Hades is a wily old god. I knew beyond doubt, although she never actually said as much to me, that she missed him during the months she spent with me.
It was Hades who first noticed that she was aging. He came to me and asked me about it. The daughter of two gods would be immortal - aging simply wouldn't happen. I suppose I knew it would come out. I knew she would age - admittedly slower than most, due to being my daughter, but just as irrevocably and unstoppably as any other mortal. When Zeus found out, he was furious. I think he had grown to love her, in his own way, and to be told that not only was she not his, but her father had been a mere mortal was more than he could stand. Oh, how he raged at me. It still sends shivers through me to think of it.
Thus, the curse.
The story would play itself out over and over again for all time. The first Persephone, as is the way with mortals, eventually grew old and died. Hades was strangely moved by her death - far more so than I had expected. And soon after her death, I found myself pregnant. And it all started all over again. Zeus claimed it was to maintain the seasons, but I am sure it was more out of anger. I am also sure he could have revoked it and saved us all a lot of pain, but that would have proved that it was simply an act of malice, and Zeus never admits a mistake.
The strangest thing is that I have tried to avoid the pregnancy. But each time, as my daughter gets old and nears death, one way or another, I find myself pregnant again. And always by a mortal father. And losing her always hurts, although I know from the day she is born that it is coming, and I know that I will get her back for half of each year. It still hurts every time. Maybe it’s because she is never the same that first time she comes back.
Sunday, 16 March 2008
Eternity Touch (Part 5)
===
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
She was pleasing. Remarkably so. I think it was then that I really knew that she was different, that there was something about this girl that was going to surprise me. Afterwards I sat watching her. She recovered quickly. Much quicker than I was accustomed to. She sat up and looked me straight in the eyes for a long time.
Eventually, she said, very slowly, "And now?"
"Make yourself comfortable," I replied. "You'll be staying a while."
She was silent for a long time. Then she calmly re-clothed herself and sat in a chair opposite me. She frowned.
"OK. So if I'm Persephone," she glanced at me, still disbelieving, "then my mother is Demeter, right?"
I nodded.
"The goddess of spring and suchlike?"
I nodded.
"As in the Greek myth?"
I nodded again.
"But that's crazy!" she exclaimed. "It's a myth, for fucksakes!!"
"You really are a foul-mouthed creature, aren't you?" I replied.
She dismissed the objection with a wave of her hand. "Look. Last time I checked we were slap-bang at the beginning of the twenty first century. And call me crazy, but that's no place for Greek myths to be playing themselves out."
"You're crazy," I replied.
"Don't try and be funny," she snapped.
I sighed. I had been right. She was a difficult one.
"Ok," I acquiesced, "let me try and explain this to you…"
Click here to start at the beginning.
===
She was pleasing. Remarkably so. I think it was then that I really knew that she was different, that there was something about this girl that was going to surprise me. Afterwards I sat watching her. She recovered quickly. Much quicker than I was accustomed to. She sat up and looked me straight in the eyes for a long time.
Eventually, she said, very slowly, "And now?"
"Make yourself comfortable," I replied. "You'll be staying a while."
She was silent for a long time. Then she calmly re-clothed herself and sat in a chair opposite me. She frowned.
"OK. So if I'm Persephone," she glanced at me, still disbelieving, "then my mother is Demeter, right?"
I nodded.
"The goddess of spring and suchlike?"
I nodded.
"As in the Greek myth?"
I nodded again.
"But that's crazy!" she exclaimed. "It's a myth, for fucksakes!!"
"You really are a foul-mouthed creature, aren't you?" I replied.
She dismissed the objection with a wave of her hand. "Look. Last time I checked we were slap-bang at the beginning of the twenty first century. And call me crazy, but that's no place for Greek myths to be playing themselves out."
"You're crazy," I replied.
"Don't try and be funny," she snapped.
I sighed. I had been right. She was a difficult one.
"Ok," I acquiesced, "let me try and explain this to you…"
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